The family I grew up in was not incredibly open in what we comfortably discussed. So, you can imagine sexual matters—completely out of the question. I know I’m not alone in feeling a bit lost after getting married, when suddenly these things that had been off limits for so long were now totally acceptable. These feelings are obviously a lot more commonplace than we’d like to think, as the apostles and even prophets of the Church have felt it necessary to speak up in this regard.

Hugh B. Brown said, “Thousands of young people come to the marriage altar almost illiterate insofar as this basic and fundamental function is concerned. The sex instinct is not something we need to fear or be ashamed of. It is God-given and has a high and holy purpose. We want our young people to know that sex is not an unmentionable human misfortune, and it certainly should not be regarded as a sordid but necessary part of marriage. There is no excuse for approaching this most intimate relationship in life without true knowledge of its meaning and its high purpose.”

There might be misconception that because it is sacred it is secret. This isn’t the case! Though it should be held in the highest regard, and reserved for conversation between those covenanted in marriage, and possibly with a bishop or other counselor, it can and should be openly communicated. This is the way we will grow closer together, and use this God-given tool to strengthen our marriages.

Parley P Pratt: “The fact is, God made man, male and female; He planted in their bosoms those affections which are calculated to promote their happiness and union. As husbands and wives learn to give of themselves and  to understand each others’ needs and desires, these affections will grow until the do indeed promote their happiness and union.

One huge aspect of marriage alongside sexual relations is fidelity. I know the thing that instantly pops into our minds when we think of infidelity is a sexual affair. We need to know, however, that infidelity generally starts long before anything sexual crosses anyone’s mind.  Kenneth W. Matheson said, “Fidelity includes refraining from physical contact- but that is not all. Fidelity also means complete commitment, trust, and respect between husband and wife.” More that just physical, fidelity is emotional, spiritual, and marital. A covenant between husband and wife is a contract to give your whole heart to that person. If you have committed to this, there is no portion of your heart left to give to anyone outside your marriage.

As with other aspects of life, it is best if we avoid the very appearance of evil. This is a huge area in which keeping your distance from the edge of the cliff is not only wise, it’s imperative. H. Wallace Goddard taught the following steps in preventing fidelity and maintaining our purity.

1.     Do not allow seeds of lust to germinate.

2.     Never make excuses to spend time alone with a person of the opposite sex who is not your spouse.

3.     Take responsibility for the messages you give.

4.     Do not allow your heart to dwell on anyone.

5.     If you continue to make excuses to continue the relationship you are addicted. Get help.

6.     Spend more enjoyable time with your spouse.

7.     Renew your spiritual efforts. Pray, study your scriptures, fill the empty places with service and love for your family.

8.     Don’t set yourself up for failure. Avoiding is better than resisting.

9.     Keep your soul free of soul-numbing barrenness of pornography.

10. Celebrate the sweet gifts of companionship.

Some of the strongest, most faithful people can become deceived and trapped by Satan’s snares if they aren’t careful. The thought that ‘it could never happen to me’ cannot apply here. We must be ever aware and diligent in nurturing our marriages and the love we have for our partners. This isn’t always a given, and just like anything worth having, a good marriage takes effort and consideration.