Marriage Trends

Let's talk about divorce for a moment. Why, pray tell, is the divorce rate currently so high in the United States, and does it matter? I'll start by saying that indeed, it does matter. It affects us on not only on a personal level, but right on up to society as a whole. So, why has it become so prevalent? Looking around at those I know, I can say with a great deal of confidence that selfishness is takes a great deal of the blame. More and more people are losing sight of what it means to commit to another person, and to put in the time and energy required to make that commitment successful. Often it is easier to walk away than to address the problems, put in the time and effort, and remain faithful to oaths you've made. No doubt, even good marriages are hard at times! You're fooling yourself if you think any marriage doesn't hit a storm every now and then. And looking back, I'm pretty sure no one ever promised that marriage would be rainbows and butterflies 100% of the time.

So, why does it matter outside the personal level? In The State of Our Unions: Marriage in America 2012 we read, "Marriage is not merely a private arrangement; it is also a complex social institution. Marriage helps to unite the needs and desires of couples and the children their unions produce. Because marriage fosters small cooperative unions-- otherwise known as stable families-- it not only enables children to thrive, but also shores up communities, helping family members to succeed during good times and to weather the bad times. Researchers are now finding that the disappearance of marriage in Middle America is tracking with the disappearance of the middle class in the same communities. For example, The Pew Research Center found that from 1971 to 2011, the proportion of middle-income households dropped from 61% to 51%. During the same period, the proportion of middle-income households headed by married couples dropped dramatically, from 74 to 55 percent." (pg 6-7)
This is not just a personal issue, though it is that. Nor is it even just a religious issue, though it is also that. This is an issue that affects us as a society, and one that must be more aggressively addressed. Though there are undoubtedly instances where divorce is the only answer, we must be much more careful in coming to that conclusion. Every effort should be made to ensure that efforts have been exhausted before the decision is made to terminate a marriage.

Dallin H. Oaks stated studies showed that "on average, persons are far more successful in recovering their level of happiness after death of a spouse than after a divorce.... Divorce is not an all-purpose solution, and it often creates long-term heartaches." If this heartache can be avoided don't we owe it to ourselves to do just that? We do. We are worth that.